I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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