I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
