Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize