I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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