how can u be prego again
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
