Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
