OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just want to make out with him forever
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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