Can Purell be used as lube?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
