Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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