Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You're a waste of cheezeits
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
