chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This is the high leading the old right now
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
