THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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