btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize