Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
