Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
