thus making me awesome and them whores
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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