he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize