Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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