Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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