that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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