ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
