she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
