Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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