You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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