I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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