I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
