Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
