all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
