...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
