Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
