I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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