and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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