just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
