Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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