she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
