But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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