guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
They have beer where we have blood.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
