Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
