I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
