so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
