he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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