Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
