i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just googled if crying burns calories
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
