I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
