p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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