You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
