Don't you send me to vm
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
