Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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