Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
