Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
