hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
