that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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