just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
