What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
