The maid of honor just puked.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
