Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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