You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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