The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
