last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
