"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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