Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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