i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
