I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
