Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
